Stories & Thoughts

50 Rules for (Jadi-jadian) Dads of Daughters

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Beberapa hari yang lalu saya dikasih link artikel 50 Rules for Dads of Daughters ini oleh temen saya Imung di twitter. Bacaan bagus. At least buat saya sebagai bapak jadi-jadian ahahah. Abis baca artikel itu, saya jadi kepikiran untuk bikin checklist, dari 50 rules itu mana aja yang udah, akan, dan (mungkin) engga akan saya lakukan. Mari kita let’s go.

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1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.

DONE!

2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she add years to her… add life to her years.

DONE. Saya termasuk bapak yang beruntung punya banyak waktu buat Rinjani. Bahkan Nyanya bilang, saya dan Rinjani itu terlalu deket. Dan itu ga bagus buat Rinjani. Dia jadi selalu ketergantungan sama saya. Terutama kalo lagi ngumpul sama temen-temen, dia selalu maunya ditemenin sama saya, ga mau dilepas sendiri. Untungnya sejak masuk sekolah, mulai keliatan perkembangannya. Pelan-pelan Rinjani mulai berani bergaul tanpa ditemenin.

3. Save the day. She’ll grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.

Done and will always do. Seperti poin di atas, saya punya terlalu banyak waktu buat Rinjani. Red cape and blue tights give me a good idea.

4. Savor every moment you have together. Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle. Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore. Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.

Hmm tell me about it. Waktu Rinjani masih dibawah 1 tahun, kelincahan kepalanya bikin bibir, mulut, pelipis saya pecah dan atau berdarah. Engga sekali dua kali. Setelah bisa berlari, dia berkeliaran, memanjat, menarik-menarik, dan bergerak tanpa henti. Begitu bisa ngomong, kondisinya semakin memburuk, ga cuman siksaan fisik, tapi juga ujian mental yang harus saya dan Nyanya hadapi. Kebawelannya suka bikin ketawa, tapi lebih sering bikin sebel. Ga jarang saya kehabisan kata-kata ngeladenin pertanyaan-pertanyaannya. Kadang gregetan sama kejailannya. Kadang saya pengen banget menendang pantat anak ini. Kadang pengen saya uwel-uwel sampe bunder trus di-dribble sepuluh putaran kaya bola basket. So yeah, i will savor every moment we have together. No doubt about it.

5. Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually.

DONE.

6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider.

Will do.

7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely.

Am trying. Really hard.

8. Go ahead. Buy her those pearls.

Sure, in time.

9. Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway.

Playing peek-a-boo is silly, huh? How about berlarian membopong Rinjani dipundak main kuda-kudaan sambil kucing-kucingan di keramaian depan stage sambil menunggu Mayer Hawthorne tampil? Shameless dad i am.

10. Enjoy the wonder of bath time.

Done. Alhamdulillah saya udah bisa bantuin Nyanya mandiin Rinjani sejak hari pertama dia lahir (dia itu maksutnya Rinjani, bukan Nyanya). We had a lot of bath time memories. Dari yang seru sampe yang militan.

11. There will come a day when she asks for a puppy. Don’t over think it. At least one time in her life, just say, “Yes.”

Anjing, saya masih pikir-pikir. Kalo kucing, kmaren udah pengen gara-gara liat Rinjani hepi banget ketemu Geri. Tapi Nyanya yang ga suka kucing, dia penyuka anjing. So, we’ll see.

12. It’s never too early to start teaching her about money. She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.

Will do.

13. Make pancakes in the shape of her age for breakfast on her birthday. In a pinch, donuts with pink sprinkles and a candle will suffice.

Seems like a great idea.

14. Buy her a pair of Chucks as soon as she starts walking. She won’t always want to wear matching shoes with her old man.

It’s done. And it’s pink.

15. Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait ‘til her wedding day.

Since day one. And singing, too.

16. Take her fishing. She will probably squirm more than the worm on your hook. That’s OK.

Saya ga suka mancing, tapi Nyanya suka. Kayanya seru juga nanti kapan-kapan.

17. Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.

Nyanya is good at this. Saya agak susah, tapi sangat setuju bahwa she doesn’t always get what she wants. Jadi saya belajar banyak dari Nyanya dalam hal ini.

18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.

Done. And will always do.

19. Teach her to change a flat. A tire without air need not be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you crying the first time it happens.

Will do.

20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.

Can’t wait!

21. Let her hold the wheel. She will always remember when daddy let her drive.

Will do.

22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that.

Oh pasti.

23. When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice.

Done. Rinjani selalu ingat, mencium itu berarti sayang, kecuali buat Koda yang lebih suka menjilat kalo sayang.

24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway.

Will do. In fact, kita lebih sering mengajarkan hal-hal ga penting seperti ini daripada hal-hal yang berguna.

25. Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic. Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.

Waktu itu pernah fun run di CFD sambil gendong pundak sih.

26. It is in her nature to make music. It’s up to you to introduce her to the joy of socks on a wooden floor.

Done.

27. If there’s a splash park near your home, take her there often. She will be drawn to the water like a duck to a puddle.

Baru kmaren kita main air di Jacob Ballas. Dan Rinjani seneng banget, karena memang dia paling suka main air. Sayangnya di sini ngga ada splash park, jadi kita lebih sering berenang aja.

28. She will eagerly await your return home from work in the evenings. Don’t be late.

Never. Yang sering, saya males ngantor, pengen main di rumah aja.

29. If her mom enrolls her in swim lessons, make sure you get in the pool too. Don’t be intimidated if there are no other dads there. It’s their loss.

Oh pasti. You jump I jump.

30. Never miss her birthday. In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there.

Saya dan Nyanya berencana selalu merayakan ulang tahun Rinjani dengan traveling. Jadi asumsinya we’ll always be together somewhere on her birthday. Amin amiiin.

31. Teach her to roller skate. Watch her confidence soar.

Will do.

32. Let her roll around in the grass. It’s good for her soul. It’s not bad for yours either.

Done.

33. Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas.

Selama ini masalahnya sih kalo dia mulai milih yang serba pink.. ada gambar princess.. renda-renda…

34. Somewhere between the time she turns three and her sixth birthday, the odds are good that she will ask you to marry her. Let her down gently.

Hihih, ngga sabar menunggu masa-masa ini. Mungkin bakalan berat ya?

35. She’ll probably want to crawl in bed with you after a nightmare. This is a good thing.

Kalo di tempat tidur, sampai saat ini Mum masih jadi primadona. So yeah crawl in bed with ME would be awesome sometimes.

36. Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.

Ini mungkin akan berat juga. Mari kita lihat nanti.

37. Introduce her to the swings at your local park. She’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster. Her definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours. Keep that in mind.

Done. One of her fave.

38. When she’s a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to hers. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you’ve got.

OK.

39. Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps. WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.

Tell me about it.

 40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though.

Rinjani punya potensi yang cukup besar untuk minta kado seaneh ini.

41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together.

Agree. Saya dan Nyanya sepakat untuk ngga terlalu membiasakan Rinjani dengan kado dan hadiah-hadiah. Apalagi yang berbentuk mainan. Jalan-jalan ke tempat baru kami anggap sebagai kado. Makanan enak juga kado. Hence the birthday trip.

42. Let her know she can always come home. No matter what.

Will do.

43. Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day. Enjoy her caterpillar years.

Membayangkan ini mengerikan.

44. Write her a handwritten letter every year on her birthday. Give them to her when she goes off to college, becomes a mother herself, or when you think she needs them most.

Ini ide bagus. Dari dulu saya kepikiran email (walaupun hanya sebatas wacana, gapernah dilakuin), tapi handwritten letter itu pasti jauh lebih berkesan ya?

45. Learn to trust her. Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.

Done.

46. When in doubt, trust your heart. She already does.

OK.

47. When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

I don’t think i’m going to succeed either, but will try my best and see how it goes.

48. Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor.

Oh i know exactly what she wants.

49. This day is coming soon. There’s nothing you can do to be ready for it. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be.

Uh huh.

50. Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college. Don’t blink.

I won’t.

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Read original article 50 Rules for Dads of Daughters by Michael Mitchell here.

The girls called him Popo. Popo spent several years working as a graphic/new media designer in several companies in several cities before he got bored and decided to move back to Bandung and started his own streetwear label with his friends. Now, when he’s not busy massaging Nyanya’s back or making play doh with Rinjani, Popo can be found at WADEZIG! HQ making cool apparel.

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Comments (3)

  1. i-iiiing.. gw terharu skaligus pgn ngakak baca ini :D no.33 kocak bgt :p

    ah ure a gr8 dad! rock on.

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